Monday, January 21, 2013

Love Tanks


We hold a positive book club here at the office every other month.  The last book was called “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. This is a great read that I think everyone should read.  It will help you create quality relationships with friends, loved ones, even strangers.  Basically this book will teach you how to discover what your own love language is, and how to discover what other people’s love language is too. 

Chapman suggests that there are 5 love languages:
1.       Words of Affirmation
2.       Acts of Service
3.       Receiving Gifts
4.       Quality Time
5.       Physical Touch
This book really hit home for me, especially being newly married.  When Rex and I took the online test, we found that our love languages were completely opposite.  My love language is quality time with receiving gifts as my second, and Rex’s was physical touch with words of affirmation a close second.  I then asked myself – we have been together for 4 years and our love languages are completely different! How did we make it this long? I then realized that we do a pretty good job at keeping each other’s love tanks full. (We do work together, so that is a lot of quality time!)  But this has also made me aware of what his needs are and now I can consciously work at making sure his love tank is always full. 

Each person has their very own love tanks, just like your car has a fuel tank.  These love tanks are different for everyone, and requires different fuel.  I feel the most loved when you spend quality time with me, making amazing memories, laughing, and just hanging out.  Words of Affirmation may not fill up my love tank as much as quality time or giving or receiving gifts might. Find out what kind of fuel fills up your love tank. 

As we discussed this book, I looked at present and past relationships – my husband, friends, ex-boyfriends, parents, brother, etc. – and saw how these love languages affected these relationships.  Looking ex-boyfriends who didn’t want to go out and do fun things with me, travel, and create memories – my love tank was empty – and it admittedly made me a little crazy. J But, knowing that my parent’s primary love language is probably also quality time, they taught me that just spending time with friends and family can fill up my love tank.  I believe it is really how you were raised that determines how you feel the most loved. 

Find out what your love language is: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
And its a great read, I highly reccommend. 

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